The Secret We Know, But Don’t Know How To Tell
by words end here
Summary: Naomi/Liam; post 2x12 oneshot. Before, during and after what Naomi calls their “first real first date.” Minor Silver and her boys – Dixon, Teddy and Ethan.


**A/N: **Just a little piece on Naomi/Liam, because this hiatus is killing me. I guess it's a sign that 90210 has actually got good, agreed? And this couple are a huge part of that; it's fitting my fiftieth story is about them. And I'm shameless when it comes to wanting your feedback. I'm thinking about writing an Ethan/Silver companion piece to this, yes/no?

**The Secret We Know, but don't Know how to Tell**

**I**

_I like it in the city when the air is so thick and opaque,_

_I love to see everybody in short skirts and shades _

_I like it in the city when two worlds collide_

It's the sweetest relief for him, to watch her pass through the terminal gates, Silver in tow texting away, Naomi's huge summer hat and sunglasses camouflaging any signs of tiredness from their flight. He cringes at himself for thinking he's buzzing, or something, but he's so she's home. It's the closest he's ever came to counting down the days on his calendar (okay, so maybe he did. It's not like anyone knows, and she'll probably see it and tease him for it anyway, and he'll love it.)

He doesn't text her, just waits for her eyes to connect with his. She looks around for a while, with a confused frown on her face. Silver rolls her eyes and nods at Liam, and Naomi smile makes this warmth crash over him. Before he has time to persuade himself to act cool, he's grinning back at her like a love-struck fool. This is the moment when he discovers that he's _really _in trouble.

They walk towards each other, the way they've been walking towards each other since September, and when she feels his arms around her, this is when she discovers that she might just have a home here again. She wants to say, _hi, boyfriend, _but she wants play with him a bit first. They have time on their hands for all those big words.

Silver, observing her obvious third wheel state, tells them she'll just call Teddy for a ride and winks at Naomi mischievously.

"You came to the airport to pick me up? You're dangerously rising on the scale of sweetness." She tells him, and he almost blushes.

"Right, and you just slipped in the details on when your flight would be back for casual conversation, did you?" He smirks knowingly. He loves the fact that he can read her so well; from the first time they met. It wasn't like Naomi was ever simple –she's always been his most provoking challenge, and he likes those. Or maybe, he concludes, he just likes her.

She smiles into their kiss, long and languid, much softer than their reunion. He isn't really into PDA, but it's not the first time he'll make an exception for her.

"Actually," she begins after they've parted, "I think I'm just going to go home." She teases as he plays with a blonde curl.

His eyes dart seriously straight back to hers, "Stop talking crazy, baby," and it's the first time he's ever used this endearment, the only time in his life when he has ever felt compelled to do that, "Dinner first. Then, maybe you can go home."

She laughs and takes his hand. She thinks it's kind of sad, that this is the first time in so long that she's felt so undeniably happy.

Home sweet home is an understatement here.

**II**

_Wake up  
It's a beautiful morning  
Honey, while the sun is still shining  
Wake up  
Would you like to go with me?  
Honey, take a run down to the beach_

So that's what they did. He took her for dinner before dropping her home, with a kiss goodnight. She invited him in and maybe he was crazy to decline, but this is what Naomi does to him. He senses that this is something that is to be handled delicately, with care. As much as he's tempted to just throw her up against the lockers during school and make-out (the thoughts keep him up most of the night and dreaming all day), he wants this to be a permanent fixture. It would be nice in a place that's always altering.

They've arranged on this Saturday morning to go to the beach. She's the type of person who needs to tell him about her life, share it unreservedly. And for the first time, he wants to hear all of it, though he knows he can't be of much help.

It's a surprise to him, then, that she strolls into his car with a smile on her face, looking perfectly content. "You're good?" He prompts.

"I'm better than _good." _She replies, kissing his cheek.

"There's...nothing wrong, or anything?"He asks with caution. She squints at him suspiciously.

"No. Why, there's nothing wrong with you, is there?" She asks, her tone failing to hide its concern. He shakes his head.

"I'm just so used...to life getting in the way of things. Of us." He says as he drives out of her driveway.

"Look, Liam, unless my beloved sister has returned or Annie Wilson's lit her crack pipe," at this he laughs, her humour doesn't fail to brighten the hour, "we're good. I know I am." She smiles.

He feels her hand on his thigh. "I'm good too, Naomi." He responds seriously.

They're not missing their chances. Not this time.

Strolling along the beach, he decides to give her a back rub as they walk. She's talking about her trip with Silver, hitting on virtually every waiter in sight to try and forget their boys, until Naomi admits she could never forget him. Liam Court, the boy that always makes Naomi Clark remember. He doesn't think there's been anything ever written to rival that statement.

"And Ade," she says the endearment bitterly; "I just don't know what to do with her. I thought I'd helped enough the last time to just wake her up, you know? A wake up call like that shouldn't send you straight to sleep again."

"She probably knows she's risking all the good things in her life," he begins, "Navid already told me that she came to him already. It won't be soon before long that she'll stop herself from losing you. I did."

She turns around so she's facing him and lets her arms loop around his neck. "What's changed?" She asks.

"Me. And you made me. It's your fault, you know." He teases. "I haven't changed. I just want us to take this seriously." He adds. _You changed my life, _he wants to say. He holds it back. He's actually scared of how much he wants this. He kisses her fleetingly before they run into Dixon and Silver.

**III**

_Time together isn't ever quite enough  
When you and I are alone, I've never felt so at home  
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?  
We need time, only time  
When we're apart, whatever are you thinking of?  
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?  
So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?  
All the time, all the time_

"So," they're back at school and she slides beside him during lunch and glances at him playfully, "I know you have something spectacular planned for our first real first date."

If this was the guy who constantly tried to hide himself, he would have choked on his fries. But she'd struggled with his heart until it opened, and he replies "You'd be right. But I'm surprising you." He tells her, and she's not sure he realizes just how much weight that statement holds.

"Okay," she smiles, "I'll leave you to your plotting then." She departs from his table when she sees Navid, Dixon and Teddy approach, along with Ivy. She shocks herself when she realizes that she's not even threatened by this girl's presence. It doesn't stop her from flashing a warning look at her.

She smiles warmly at Silver, who can't help but comment on how sickeningly happy her blonde best friend is. It's not the Chanel that's making Naomi beautiful today; it's the happiness she's exuding.

"Whatever. By the looks that Dixie is giving you, I'd say you're being sickeningly happy too, just in secret." She shoots back and mid-laugh, catches Adrianna glancing at them.

She's been on the periphery concerning her friendship with Adrianna for while. She doesn't want to admit that she _needs _this girl in her life, but in the end, she always admits that fact anyway. If she had only _wanted _Ade to be in her life, she could have discarded her as soon as she suspected she was doing drugs. But Adrianna is the closest thing to family she has, so she gestures for her to come over to their table. Naomi realizes that love (not that she's informed Liam of that term yet) makes you hold onto things you really shouldn't, makes you a walking cliché, makes you take risks that in the end, might be worth the fear of failure.

When Adrianna walks over with her tray and Silver instinctually pulls a chair over for their friend, Naomi is certain, in this moment; Ade will follow through.

Liam calls in some favours and to his own amazement, manages to pull off the type of date he'd only thought ever existed in fiction. They're having dinner on the beach, a combination of their first two dates (in his mind only he knows, Naomi has a thing for formality when it suits her) and they laugh, they kiss.

She wants more.

He wants more.

She's so glad that they didn't rush into sex the first time around, because tonight she knows, is the closest to perfection as dates with her favourite bad boy gets. They kiss all the way back to his car, hands roaming, hair tangled, bodies perspiring. She's surprised they make it back to her home at all.

Clothes are shed, ties are made that can't be broken. There's a lot of forgiveness in it. Every kiss she gives him is another _I forgive you. _Every time he caresses her it's another _I love you._

But they're so terrified of saying it, even though the look in their eyes says so much more than _I want you _or _I love you._

**IV**

_Sometimes I forget to love you like I should_

_But I would never leave you – no I never would_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, you know the way to keep me on my toes  
I, I, I will be fine - just say you'll stay forever mine  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, you know the way to keep me on my toes  
I, I, I will be fine - just say you'll stay forever mine  
'Til we fall asleep tonight_

Their first argument is, predictably, about Annie Wilson. Liam's dad had made a not so glorious return, and they've been hanging out. It's not like he's keeping it a secret from his girlfriend, he tells her, but it's tentative territory.

Sometimes, Naomi wonders is she's expecting too much from one relationship. Friendship, romance, laughter, tears and everything in between, but it's not surprising that she does, really. It's just that so little people can live up to that standard. She's been civil to Annie recently; friendship was out of the question. Gorgeous irony, she knows all too well; Annie didn't sleep with Liam _that night, _but she probably wants to sleep with him by now.

She can't disguise her jealousy. It's a flaw, she knows, that she can't rise above here and be the bigger person, but Annie is the closest thing she has to an enemy. So she should be Liam's enemy too. In her view, it's that simple.

"Naomi, I don't know what you want here. I need you to trust me. I know it's hard but I just don't want you to worry about me. I shouldn't dump that stuff on you, when you're trying to get into UC –

"_I want _you to dump that stuff on me. Everything."

"I want you to learn to trust me." He replies earnestly, blue eyes imploring.

"Really, Liam? Total and complete trust? After what you did?" She thinks out loud, and the spark in his blue eyes fizzles out. The soft look on his terribly handsome face hardens.

"I thought we were past that." He mutters bitterly.

"And I thought I was past letting Annie Wilson intrude on _my _life, claiming the people who I love. First Ethan, then Silver, and now you. Liam, I know I've been insecure since you've had this friendship with her. But it's either me or Annie, I won't live last year over again."

"How could even consider that a decision for me? I love _you_."

Even though they're in his bedroom, he runs away, and his breathe catches when he realizes that he was the first to say it.

He goes on a random two hour drive and hangs out with Dixon at the Wilson abode. Annie walks in and joins them and Liam watches them play Xbox, before his eyes start to hurt from just staring at the screen. It's not like he was going to discuss this with Annie, and he's thinking he should have applied that policy a long time ago.

"Hey man, I'm going to leave you to all the sibling bonding." He nods curtly and exits, before Annie chases after him, not retaining much pride.

"Liam," she stops him pulling on his arm, and then stroking strands of brown hair (Not blonde, Liam thinks fleetingly) asks him to stay.

He runs away, quite literally.

When he returns home he finds that Naomi has run away too.

**V**

_She sees through any move that I use  
See I've been falling head over her heels  
So when she disappears she knows I'll be here waiting up  
So I'll vow the moment that she leaves town  
Yeah I'll be hopping trains to get away and try to save face  
But I know it's never far enough_

The last time someone confessed their love to Naomi was when she was fifteen. It was during Adrianna's sixteenth birthday party, and her best friend had been hooking up with Ty Collins. It was a fully blown rager, and in retrospect she thinks how lucky they were not to have to deal with any cops that night. Anyway, Ethan had led her up to an empty bedroom. She should have deduced where the situation would go from that detail alone, but she was younger and more naive, she'd just betrayed Silver and if there was anyone she wanted at this point, it was her first love.

They had discussed trivial things like how much of freak Silver had become, Ethan didn't really discuss that per say, just started kissing his girlfriend instead. Then he pulled back and suddenly got serious. "I love you." He said so you, so earnest, so certain of it.

And she had believed it. That night she gave her virginity to her first boy, the most important person in her life, and she couldn't see anything wrong with it. They had been safe about the matter, and there was nothing wrong with confessing love, even if it was really lust elevated in their heads, being safe and having sex with someone you completely knew and trusted. She had thought of it as the best night of her life, until recently.

She knows Liam never really meant to say it at all, because he wouldn't have run away, he would have been brave. She wonders if she'll say it back, or make him work for it some more. She decides to make him earn her response, in real Naomi fashion.

So they break up, with her initiating it. That lasts about two days before lands at her door with lilies (roses are too much), a love letter (if he can write essays, he figures he can write about how he actually feels. It's actually kind of therapeutic, although it sounds like crap) and _I'm sorry. _And in case she wonders if he's sorry about his declaration, he has and _I love you _for her too.

She leans against the frame of front door, arching her back and she doesn't miss his eyes scanning her. "I don't know if I hate you, or love you. Baby, it's a thin, thin line."

"I'm hoping we'll go with the latter." He replies, somewhat timid.

She takes the flowers and letter. "I reluctantly accept," She teases, and he kisses her forehead, "that I may be...possibly in love with you too."

**VI**

_You saw all my pieces broken  
This darkness that I could never show_

_If I told you, you were right  
Would you take my hand tonight?  
If I told you the reasons why  
Would you leave your life and ride?  
And ride_

_  
_Liam never thought he'd be reduced to dating, let alone double dating with Dixon and Silver, but apparently, even commitment-phobic messes can somehow, gain happiness. He watches his girlfriend try to tame her hair and tells her to just wear it as is – curly. When he's teasing her he calls it a lion's mane. It's the only playful remark Naomi doesn't have a comeback for, other than a pair of red cheeks. He loves that he's the only one who can do that to her.

When she's done applying her lip-gloss, he sets about removing it. He grabs her waist quite forcefully and pushes her on the bed and she doesn't bother protesting, because they both know she's loving every moment of being with him. Why state the obvious? She feathers her fingers through his hair and their lips are near bruising from the kissing when they hear Dixon's car pull into her driveway.

She groans in disappointment and Liam takes her hand, helps her from the bed and keeps his hand on the small of her back as they get into their friends car, Silver in the passenger seat.

"Do we really have to do this?" Liam protests, not caring if he offends the other couple, who just shake their head and tell him to shut up, he'll enjoy it.

"I feel about fourteen." He adds, brooding.

"Come on man, like you ever dated seriously before Naomi came along." Dixon replies factually.

"Only for you." He whispers in his girlfriend's ear.

They walk on the beach, watch a movie, and have dinner and it's not long before they start to feel like they're in an OC episode.

Although apparently, Silver's beginning to think that Dixon might not be the Ryan to her Marissa.

"You and Dixon seem happy." Naomi begins as she re-applies her lip-gloss in the ladies.

"It's...it's good." Silver's tone is more than revealing.

"That's convincing." And her eyebrows rise.

"I just...I just left Teddy as a _what if, _that's all. What if Dixon and I just end again, because we're so different? And what if Teddy and me actually had something, and I let go to retread the past? I don't know what to do, Nai."

"Whatever feels natural. Who's the one you want to talk to everyday about your life?"

They both know from the silence – it's not Dixon.

"Team Teddy or team Dixon?" Silvers asks bluntly, needing her best friends advice on this one.

"I'm team Silver. Always, you know that. You know if you can't decide it probably means that neither is right for you." Naomi offers, strangely sounding so sure.

Silver nods slowly. "I haven't told you this. But Ethan's been writing me. Not texting, not tweeting, not e-mailing, writing. Like, letters."

Naomi turns around, flabbergasted, mouth actually dropping a little before she and Silver burst into girlish giggles, which turns into hysterics. The deliciously sad part is; Silver doesn't even find the situation funny at all. Parts of her belong to three different boys, and she's struggling to get them back.

They all end the night in smiles and kisses anyway, and Naomi agrees, and when Liam deposits her home, she says, "Hey, boyfriend. We are never doing this again."

**VII**

_I'm addicted, it's a crisis  
My friends think I've gone crazy  
My judgements getting kinda hazy  
My steez is gonna be affected  
If I keep it up like a lovesick crack-head  
What you got boy is hard to find  
I think about it all the time  
I'm all strung out, my heart is fried  
I just can't get you off my mind_

Senior prom is a celebration of their second chance. Naomi and Liam are the King and Queen, much to their surprise. Being with him made her disregard these things more, and she does a Silver and breaks the crown. She splits a piece for herself, a piece for Ade, a piece for Silver, and a piece for Annie, because she's been the queen of loneliness this year.

Liam kisses her on stage. He can't help but feel that things should never be any other way.

It's mysterious, he muses, how life can really come full circle sometimes.

"Thank you for giving me another try." He murmurs.

**VII**

_Louder, lips speak louder,_

_Better, back together,_

_Still it's a shock, shock, to see your soft side,_

_Summer looms  
Catch your shut-eye  
In my room, in your room  
In my room, in your room_

_It's the time, it's the day _

_don't leave me  
It's the time, it's the day  
don't leave me  
It's the time, it's the day  
don't leave me  
It's the time, it's the place  
Don't leave me_

It would always be hard. Naomi would always be the demanding, conflicted perfectionist, and Liam would always be her dream who was far from perfect. In this case though, she thinks, she hopes and in her heart, she knows that love is enough here.

Summer blurs by in a hot haze, making out in his car, the beach and everywhere else. Silver is about to venture off to Montana when Ethan comes home for a visit. Naomi's going to UC. Dreams are coming true. She knows she will have to sacrifice one, right now.

She steps into his room timidly, a far cry from the girl that usually commands the room. It's going to hurt so much, it already does, but she's Naomi Clark, and she's going to do what has to be done.

Liam sets his book on the bedside table. The only series Naomi had bothered to read was the Gossip Girl novels and she'd actually persuaded him to read _Don't you forget about me. "I hate it Naomi. But I love you." _He'd said, sliding the book onto her shelf. She'd come to learn that he was all about Steinbeck.

"I already know why you're here, Naomi." He begins, voice already cracking, with fear, uncertainty, sadness. "And before you do, I'm telling you, _begging, _you not to. I can do long distance if you can."

She is so sure of his commitment to her, and it's what scares her the most. This time he's sure, and she's not. She doesn't want to look back in five years and think about how they could have been. Sitting on the edge of his bed, she demands that her eyes stop welling up and her heart slow down. It doesn't. She wants to see if he's the one, and they're too young for that. But if she lets him go, she reasons with herself, and he comes back to her again, at least she will be certain.

"Don't you ever think of us in the future tense?" She asks simply.

He nods, "I didn't want to. Sometimes I do." He takes her hand

"I do too. And Liam, I love you so much, but if I can't have you in my life, you and I every day, then I don't think I could deal with phone calls and e-mails. That's not how I do things."

"I know." He nods. He knows his girl, never doing anything with half of her heart.

She stands up and kisses his cheek. He thinks he might cry.

He stands up before she exits his room, pulls her back and kisses her forehead. He knows she's not giving up on them. He knows that she's letting them fall, and maybe in years they'll fly again. Sometimes, leaving love alone is the best choice. Whatever happens, he knows, as Naomi walks out of his room, hearing muffled whimpers and tears fall, that she'll be back for him someday again.

_I don't know if I hate you, or love you. Baby, it's a thin, thin line._

"You changed my life." He says, long after she's gone.

(Give them another five years.)

* * *

Hometown Glory – Adele

Let's go surfing – The Drums

The saltwater room – Owl City

Sky – Joshua Radin

Tell me where you are – Hit the Lights

Ride – Cary Brothers

Your love is my drug – Ke$ha (LOL I know.)

Soft shock – Yeah Yeah Yeahs


End file.
